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Name: Matthew
Location: Woodstock, GA
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Thank you, Jesse

JJ the Magnificent, or Je$$e as I've seen him called elsewhere around these parts, has convinced me; it really is okay to use words that you tell others not to use. What's good for the goose is good for the gander, unless I'm said goose.

I submit the following guidelines for any future references to me:
- I am 'caucasian', but I find that label offensive. I'm not a big one for caucuses. If you voted in a caucus this year, you may refer to me as caucasian, but I probably won't like it very much.
- My heritage includes quite a bit of Irish. Only fellow Viking-Irish-English-Missourian-Americans can refer to me as 'Mr. Potatohead' without getting a shillelagh up side the head. If you are a former VP, 'Mr. Potatoehead' is also unacceptable.
- I am one-thirty-second Cherokee. If you call me a redneck, you'd better be referring to my pickup truck and hound dog. Wait, I don't have a dog.
- I am heavy-set. If you wear pants with a waist of 42" or above, you may refer to me as 'The American Buddha', but you thin-lings had best keep such comments to yourself.
- I am balding. See previous comment r.e. 'American Buddha'.

Yessir, I feel tremendous freedom to now dictate how others should refer to me, and absolutely no pressure to treat others in the same way. Thanks, Mr. Jackson.


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Jesse Jackson; Presidential Role Model?

I believe Jesse Jackson is an intelligent man. I disagree with his viewpoint on 99% of the issues, but he has to have some smarts to be able to continue to shake down American businesses so successfully.

But there is something about having a microphone in front of him that drops his IQ. The science of recording technology is his kryptonite. There can be no other explanation.

A few samplings of Jackson's gaffes:
  • 1973: Nixon was unsympathetic to blacks because, among his top advisors, "four out of five are German Jews"
  • 1979: Few Jewish reporters "have the capacity to be objective about Arab affairs"
  • 1984" Jewish people are "Hymies" and New York City is "Hymietown"
The list goes on. Since most who will read this post are either familiar with Jackson's silver tongue or know how to use g00gle, let me suggest that we look a little closer at Jackson's template for an apology.

He never regrets making the remarks.

No, seriously; stop giggling. It's true. He regrets that he was overheard, he regrets that some have chosen to interpret the comments to be offensive, he regrets that people are focusing on what he said rather than how the government (or specifically those with an (R) next to their name) are really to blame.

Look at his 'apology' for his tasteless comments caught by Fox on Sunday: "It was not a public speech or a declaration."

Um, Mr. Jackson, you were in a TV studio, sitting in front of a microphone. You may not have meant for it to be a public speech, but it was.

Truth is, he regrets being caught.

I see someone else in the news who has learned from Mr. Jackson. Barack Obama is also unable to apologize for doing something wrong without focusing on how he was misunderstood, how his comments were misconstrued, how he is only sorry that it might detract from his messianic persona.

Guns and Bibles, anyone?

One difference, though. Where Jackson has no regrets, Obama regrets almost everything. I saw an article in the Atlanta paper today where the author pointed out that an internet search on 'Obama' and 'regrets' returns over a million hits (who says he hasn't accomplished much?).

But neither is ever to blame.
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