Posted by
Matthew on Friday, July 18, 2008 11:47:51 AM
JJ the Magnificent, or Je$$e as I've seen him called elsewhere around these parts, has convinced me; it really is okay to use words that you tell others not to use. What's good for the goose is good for the gander, unless I'm said goose.
I submit the following guidelines for any future references to me:
- I am 'caucasian', but I find that label offensive. I'm not a big one for caucuses. If you voted in a caucus this year, you may refer to me as caucasian, but I probably won't like it very much.
- My heritage includes quite a bit of Irish. Only fellow Viking-Irish-English-Missourian-Americans can refer to me as 'Mr. Potatohead' without getting a shillelagh up side the head. If you are a former VP, 'Mr. Potatoehead' is also unacceptable.
- I am one-thirty-second Cherokee. If you call me a redneck, you'd better be referring to my pickup truck and hound dog. Wait, I don't have a dog.
- I am heavy-set. If you wear pants with a waist of 42" or above, you may refer to me as 'The American Buddha', but you thin-lings had best keep such comments to yourself.
- I am balding. See previous comment r.e. 'American Buddha'.
Yessir, I feel tremendous freedom to now dictate how others should refer to me, and absolutely no pressure to treat others in the same way. Thanks, Mr. Jackson.